Rabbits
by Sejour Avec Moi
Summary: DON'T READ THIS. IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. ChazzJaden, SyrusBastionZane. See what we mean? Coauthored fic Cupid's nightmare. We write better than this...... You can read our other stuff as proof........


(A/N: We drank chubby. This isn't safe. Ent, zoe?

:No it in't good.:

:And there was tea, too….:

:LEMON TEA…-wink wink-:

:Yeah, but no lemon here. Just diarrhea, earwax and dry humping. . :

:THIS IS OUR TRIBUTE TO THE _REAL_ YU-GI-OH:

:YEAH! SETO, MALIK, MARIK, BAKURA, RYOU, JOEY AND ISIS _LIVE ON!_ Btw, this was a co-authored fic, first of many. It was written with each of us contributing roughly every other line.:

:We should finish the other one…:

:It's not as bad, don't worry. Angst AS oneshot. But for now, you just concentrate on this. Be warned, and ja-ne.:

DISCLAIMER: We only want to own the _real_ Yu-Gi-Oh… and if we owned GX –insert evil cackle-

0o0o0o

"Well, Crowler, what _were_ you doing last night?"

Dr. Crowler turned the most unpleasant shade of red. "It is not your place to ask, Banner."

Banner himself turned a subtler shade of red. "Well, it really was out of concern, sir. After all, students were hearing… um _flatulence _noises coming from your quarters."

"If you must know, I was having problems with my BM." Crowler took the liberty of looking self-righteous at this point.

Jaden giggled, and elbowed Syrus, whose mouth had just dropped open.

"What is BM?" asked Banner, frowning as he petted his FAT, FAT cat, Pharaoh.

"Um… Bowel…" Crowler let himself trail off, the pride that had just shone on his face dying very, very abruptly.

"OH! You had diarrhea!"

Jaden ran away, pulling Syrus by the arm before he could explode into academically fatal laughter. Syrus looked like a rag doll, pulled along limply by his best friend.

"Jaden, let's be friends forever…"

Jaden pulled up short, Syrus flying ahead from the momentum. "Sure, Sy…um, no problem."

Syrus' eyes widened as he said quite disconcertingly, "And ever… and _ever, and EvER_ and EVER!"

Jaden paused. "Syrus? Are you okay? You've been acting weird since your chat with Bastion last bight."

"WE MADE TENDER PANKAKES IN THE MONLIGHT! THIS IS _FOREVER_!"

Jaden, rarely disturbed by anything, stared at Syrus, his eyes popping out insanely.

"And then we watched cheap internet porno! IT WAS THE BEST!"

Speaking of Bastion…the Ra strolled around the corner, unaware of the conversation (if you could call it that) at hand.

"It was his collection of cheap _rabbit _porno! I've never been so inspired in my life!"

Bastion stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel, hoping to escape the psychotically ecstatic Slipher. Lately, Syrus had been spreading rumors that they were some sort of twisted, bouncy couple… and Chazz simply _wouldn't _get off his ass about it. Not, of course, that it was Chazz's business to listen to Syrus, even if the Slipher was his best friend's little brother. Chazz felt pity for Zane.

"I LOVE YOU BASTIEN!" Syrus screamed, seeing the Ra Yellow and running at him with his arms outstretched.

"No…no…Syrus, please don't –" Bastion had no breath left as it was knocked out of him by the short…thing.

And, just who he needed to hear most right now…

"Look, it's the Slipher Slackers and… Rabbity Ra!"

Jaden's eyes popped back in and he keeled over, humiliated; Chazz simply watched his head hit the ground with a hollow thud. "Wow, there's really nothing in Jaden's head."

"What is the meaning of this!" they heard the all too familiar voice of Crowler cry out.

Bastion crawled away, a clinging dragging Syrus around the corner. Chazz remained staring at Jaden's limp form. Suddenly conscious, Jaden sprang up and said very deliberately, 'Sir, I'm experiencing some trouble with my BM, you know I have diarrhea!"

Crowler stopped, stared and walked past, holding his head up in not-so-manly pride.

Chazz looked horrified.

As Crowler disappeared, Jaden's smirk disappeared and he gaped idiotically and drooled at the Obelisk Blue student, who looked even more horrified by this stare.

For some odd reason, Chazz thought this would throw the Slipher off. "You know, rabbit pornography really turns me on, Slipher Slacker."

"Great," Jaden said, sounding like a zombie from a B horror movie.

"And I masturbate to my bottle of grape jam every morning."

"You do what?" Jaden snapped out of his trance.

"Um… do you wanna go out with me?" He figured that if he went in a date with the Slipher and killed him; all his problems would be solved.

Jaden's brown eyes started to sparkle in fangirl-like happiness. "Really?"

"Yeah, we can make… some waffles….. in…. um, the harsh sunlight."

"Eh?"

"Unless you'd rather have me feed your earwax to Chumli." where'd that come from?

"No!" Jaden screamed, his hands shooting up to his ears. "Not my precious earwax! My precious tasty earwax!"

Chazz cradled his head in his hands. "I really need a transfer out of this insane asylum."

Jaden's eyes continued to glitter. "We can transfer out together, my love, and I know the perfect way." Chazz's eyebrow arched. "We tell the whole school that Crowler has diarrhea!"

Chazz stared at Jaden blankly. "You are…a complete…a complete…genius!"

"Yes, my bunny, I am!" Jaden cried, clapping his hands together/ "And now….. to the office… and the pa system!"

And Chazz was treated to the same rag doll treatment as Syrus had been mere minutes ago.

0o0o0o

"Why me?"

"Why not you?" Syrus clung tightly to Bastion's waist.

"Uh………."

"Does thou givest me permission to dry hump thy leg?"

"GET OFF!" hollered the Ra Yellow. "No, don't dry – Get off me Syrus! GOD HELP ME!"

Syrus smiled. He was having the time of his life.

0o0o0o

"Mr. Princeton? Mr. Yuugi? Can I help you? W-where are you going? You can't go in there! Young men!" the secretary yelled, but did not wish to remove her butt from the chair.

Jaden turned and flipped the secretary. "Kiss my scrumptious earwax, you tit sucking whore!"

Chazz pulled out a hairpin (beats me where he got it!) and picked the lock to the principal's sanctuary: the room with the PA system.

0o0o0o

"I want to make pancakes again…"

"THERE WERE NO PANKAKES, SYRUS! IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!"

"But…" Syrus made puppy eyes and trembled his bottom lip. "I wuv you, Bastion-kun."

"Yes, Syrus," Bastion, sighed, "but I love you brother, Zane."

"What's the difference?"

Bastion's eyes widened. "Well your brother doesn't dry ump my leg for starters."

"So? That's a PLUS!"

Bastion heard footsteps coming around the corner.

The next words that came out of Bastion's mouth made him feel as though he were in a nightmare. "Zane, this isn't what it looks like…"

Zane looked horrified. "With my little brother? What happened to all those times we made pancakes in the moonlight?"

"Nothing!" Bastion cried, "I love you and only you!"

Syrus burst away from Bastion and tackled Zane. "No! He's my Ra-bunny!"

"But I watched cheap internet porn with hi, Syrus! I watched his bunny porn!"

Syrus turned, looking horrified. "You liar! I thought you said there were no pancakes?"

Bastion slapped his forehead. "Syrus, there were no pancakes between you and me. I love Zane, as in your bother! We made hot pancakes with syrup!"

"There were no pancakes between us?" said Syrus dryly, "Well, tell that to your leg."

"YOU ASSAULTED ME!"

Zane watched this from where he lay, incapacitated by his short brother.

"To be honest with you, I drugged you and Syrus one night because I was fed up with the bunny porn. You made beautiful pancakes together, but I didn't expect Syrus to remember…"

Bastion pounced on Zane and began choking him. "YOU INSANE OBELISK PERV! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW AWAY YOUR BROTHER'S BLOSSOM LIKE THAT!"

"Yeah, and you thought I loved your bunny porn…. Your _home made_ bunny porn. We al have our faults bastion." Zane choked.

"And I'm not a blossom…" Syrus said shyly.

"So…who…no! Not –" Bastion was cut off as Zane flipped their positions.

The Obelisk Blue smirked. "I'm always on top, Bas."

"Yes, Bastion, Alexis, but only before I met you…"

Zane gaped. "You and that cheap prostitute! What have I told you, Syrus Always demand the best!"

Bastion's eyes turned steely.

"So that's all I am to you? The best?"

Zane glared back. "Shut the fuck up before I fingerfuck you. And you know that you cry like a little bitch when I do that."

Bastion opened his mouth to reply but the speakers crackled into life.

"ATTENTION!" filtered Jaden's voice. "Doctor Crowler has diarrhea and Chazz and I are running away to Ohio to get married!"

Zane smiled mildly. "Honey, lets go to Ohio and get married."

"You think after all this I would just let you have me back?"

"Who said I was talking to you? Syrus, you want to?"

Bastion paused, thoughtful. "But sibling marriage isn't legal, is it? Not that I mind incest but… I also can't have you do that, because over these last minutes, I've fallen madly in love with your brother." Bastion finished.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I wuv you both to ravaged bits!" Syrus yelled, jumping on his brother's back and making him collapse on Bastion. (Dogpile! Bastion's the bottom dog!)

"But," Syrus began, "I love Alexis more. Screw you all! BYE!"

As the Syrus ran off to find his beloved whore, Zane just lay on bastion. "You know, this ain't so bad, Bastion."

Fin

(A/N: It done

:That got waaay out of control.:

:This was supposed to be aserious fic….. and then I wrote my opening line…… and it went downhill:

:How is SyrusBastionZane serious:

:It can become horribly, incestuously angsty. pouts indignantly:

:Do't give me ideas…my fandom is Beyblade 4EVA:

:I have come to span my fandoms. AS, Yu-Gi-Oh, Beyblade……. Bu hey, this was just frightening, alright. Don't kill us. Our EOT just finished. WE ARE FREEEEEEEEEEEE:

:Gr…I can smell the end already and it's only the third day of freedom…:

:But till the accursed for-three-ness, we shall subject you to our stories, which we promise will never get as out of control as this did…. I think . Anyway, ja-ne from me. Cupid:

:Go to Michigan:


End file.
